Can You Hold Your Feelings Lightly? An Art Therapy Exercise

“Move on.” “Stay positive.” “Be strong.”

Have you ever been told these things? I imagine you have. I think we’ve all heard them at some point, and they’re usually offered with good intentions. But these platitudes can sometimes do more harm than good. They can invalidate our feelings, create a sense of guilt about how we feel, and shut down opportunities for connection.

True resilience doesn't come from suppressing difficult emotions; it comes from processing them. It means slowing down and learning to be present with our own discomfort. When we stop moving, doing, and distracting ourselves, we may discover just how uncomfortable it can be to sit with what we're feeling.

This art therapy exercise is about learning to sit with difficult emotions, acknowledge them, and begin to process them.  And you don't need to be an artist to do this exercise. The goal isn't to create a work of art; it's to give your feelings a little space. 

The Art Therapy Exercise: Making Space for Your Feelings

Step 1: Gather your art supplies.

Markers, pens, pencils, paint, or collage materials—whatever you have handy. There’s no need for anything fancy.

Step 2: Check in with yourself.

How are you feeling right now? Try to name the emotion and say it out loud: “I feel __________.”

There’s a saying: “Name it to tame it.” Naming an emotion can help us step back and observe what we're feeling rather than becoming completely caught up in it. It can also help reduce the emotion’s intensity.

Step 3: Visualize the feeling.

If this feeling had a shape, what would it look like? Would it be pointed, sharp, smooth, or soft and out of focus? Would it have jagged edges? Would it feel heavy or light? Would it be one solid color or made up of multiple layers?

Let your imagination guide you. There are no right or wrong answers.

Step 4: Create your image.

Bring the feeling to life through drawing, painting, sculpting, or collage. You don't need to create something beautiful or recognizable. Simply focus on expressing the feeling as you experience it.

Step 5: Stay present as you create.

Try to stay connected to the feeling and focused on the process of creating. Easier said than done!  

Notice if you start judging your work or worrying about how the image looks. See if you can let go of those judgments and allow the image to develop without needing to make it look a certain way.

 And if an emotion feels overwhelming, it's okay to pause, take a break, or seek support. You can return to the exercise when you feel ready.  You are in control.

Step 6: Spend time with your image.

When you feel your image is complete, take a moment to sit with it and really look at it.

What does the image convey to you? Does it offer any valuable information? Is it highlighting an unmet need, drawing attention to an important value, or helping you recognize something that has been difficult to put into words?

Or perhaps the feeling simply needed to be acknowledged and expressed through the creative process.

There is no right or wrong interpretation. Be curious about what emerges, without feeling the need to find an answer.

Why Drawing Our Emotions Can Be So Powerful

Our minds naturally want to judge, analyze, and make sense of our feelings and thoughts. We might ask ourselves, “Am I right or wrong for feeling this way?” How many times have you caught yourself thinking, “I shouldn't be feeling this way,” or “What's wrong with me? Why can't I get past this?” Maybe you've even thought, “I should be over this by now.”

Our inner critic can say things to us that we would never dream of saying to a friend.

It can be incredibly difficult to allow ourselves to experience what we're feeling without judgment. Learning to notice and gently challenge those initial critical thoughts is a skill—and one I work on with my clients in therapy.

Sometimes, the feeling itself isn't the hardest part of a situation or experience. It's all the judgment that follows.

In therapy, I help clients learn to hold their feelings with greater kindness and compassion. Rather than fighting an emotion or criticizing themselves for having it, they can begin to acknowledge it with curiosity and care.

It can also be helpful to think of emotions as waves in the ocean. If you fight against a wave, it can knock you down. If you learn to face the wave and allow it to move over you, it will eventually pass. Sitting with strong emotions is a little like learning how to stand in the ocean. You don't have to stop the waves; you can learn to navigate them.

Sitting with a feeling also means noticing where it shows up in your body. Perhaps you notice a tight jaw, a constriction in your chest, heavy shoulders, or butterflies in your stomach. By gently bringing your attention to these sensations and breathing naturally, rather than immediately trying to push them away, you can begin to learn that experiencing difficult emotions is something you can tolerate.

This is often an important part of therapy: learning new ways of relating to ourselves and our experiences, including discovering that we can feel safe—or learn to feel safer—in the present moment, even when we're experiencing difficult emotions.

Our feelings can carry valuable information about unmet needs, crossed boundaries, or deeply held values. But sometimes, we need to slow down and make space for an emotion before we can begin to understand what it might be telling us.

We can learn to tolerate discomfort. We can learn to stay present with difficult feelings. And we can learn that we don't have to navigate them alone—we can be supported by another person without immediately turning to avoidance or distraction.

That brings me to my next blog topic: using art therapy to explore the ways we avoid discomfort and what those patterns might be telling us. (When that blog is up, I'll add the link here).

Interested in Working Together?

If you'd like to learn more about managing uncomfortable feelings, or if you're interested in working together, I'd love to hear from you.

I currently have availability and am accepting new clients. I offer in-person therapy sessions in my office in Mar Vista, on the Westside of Los Angeles, as well as telehealth sessions for clients throughout California.

The best way to reach me is by emailing Kim@kimberlygibsoncounseling.com or completing the contact form on my website: KimberlyGibsonCounseling.com.

Thanks for reading!

—Kim